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Malta Mahem! Pt 4
What IS normal?
Of course the line is blurred these days. And acceptance is a fantastic new normal with all peeps and all types…However, can we set a little baseline..just for us…for this chapter on “Normal?”
Washing your clothes in chocolate I believe we can agree is not normal.
Dancing in the middle of a busy street in a giant cat costume, also, not your everyday occurrence.
Requesting the death of your mom’s biggest grudge? And for proof, wanting to receive their physical head?
I don’t even know how to process that last one.
“OMG! This beheading thing would look stunning in the library! ”
GR: Holy….I mean…that is just a horrible story…that girl and her mom were Bad News Bears
ECH: Well the reason we went through that little history lesson is this: That beheading thing? That gruesome image? That was the subject for the altarpiece the Knights wanted.
GR: Come again now?
ECH: Yeah Buddy….
The Altarpiece
So yeah! Crazy Business for a giant altarpiece right?
Well keep in mind, St. John the Baptist is their namesake…their Patron Saint…so they are very familiar…possibly comfortable, with the graphic images that come with their boy. So who knows what the Knights were thinking? But those beheading images are dark, I tell you what.
Personally, I would go with like a Mary Engelbriet or Thomas Kincaid..wasn’t he the painter of light or something?…You could buy them in the mall?
GR: Oh yeah! Right next to the Cinnabon! Those were great.
ECH: Right? You can browse “fine artwork” but watch your frosting fingers!
GR: You don’t hear that in the Louvre…
ECH: Amen to that…oh..where were we again? Right…Big, bloody beheading pic was the top of their request list. So nothing happy and uplifting.
GR: Those Cinnabon Churros get me happy and uplifting I tell you what.
ECH: Okay, okay…
GR: With that frosting dipping sauce? Sweet mother that sounds good.
SO ANYWAY…. These Knights gave the green light to a GINORMOUS painting of a man getting his head chopped off. Nice choice Knights…nice. And it IS huge. It is at least 4 canvases stitched together. There is a lot of work going into this …OH..and two things about this piece:
It’s is the largest piece Caravaggio ever painted
It is the only piece he ever signed.
“You can browse fine artwork but watch your frosting fingers”
RIGHT? That’s a huge deal! I mean I feel like when Caravaggio raced to Malta, maybe he thought he found his people? He was accepted, praised, not jailed…He was digging it here! So during the 15 months here, he created his biggest piece ever! And when he was done, for the first time, he actually put his name “ Michelangelo” on it.
GR: Wow! That’s beautiful. And including his signature for the very first time? That’s kind of touching.
ECH: Did I mention his signature is written in the blood draining from St. John’s half-decapitated head?
GR: Okay..gross…
ECH: So yeah…this painting ain’t no Hello Kitty.
However it IS amazing! It really is…His painting is so big it is hard to see how he painted it, even knowing it was done in sections. It fills the entire end of the room.
The room is almost like a theatre with a giant archway showcasing his work. While I understand there is a lot more history to the building than I know, it sure feels like an entire part of the cathedral is set aside specifically to lead you to this showcase….I have never seen anything like it. It is breathtaking.
GR: What did the Knights think? WhenCaravaggio was done?
❤️ The Knights loved it! ❤️
“Best beheading painting ever!
10 Stars!⭐️”
I mean are you kidding me? What is not to like???
It has their Patron Saint on it..it is about the size of a two story firehouse….and it was painted expressly for them by one of the all time greats.
Needless to say Mr C. was feted like crazy! Wine, women, food, life was good! And have you ever been to Malta? Holy cow! A beautiful island in the middle of the Mediterranean right off the coast of Italy? Yeah, life was not terrible for Caravaggio these days.
GR: Fantastic!
ECH: And it gets better! Upon completion, the Knights were so elated with him, they decided to reward Caravaggio by actually making him a Knight!
GR: Get outta town, you!
ECH: I know! He has come so far! Troubled genius to Celebrated Knight! He got the whole ceremony and was a freaking big deal! Life was amazing! Sunshine, accolades, knighthood!
GR: That is so coo…
ECH: Until our boy couldn’t keep himself in check.
GR: Goddamnit are you for reals?
ECH: Unfortunately….