Hello Mr C! Welcome to Malta!
We are so happy you have arrived!
We have a lovely fruit basket waiting in your hotel room! You don’t have any allergies do you? Oh, and we have chosen the lovely Valletta area for your stay. It is, how does one say, The Bees Knees? You’ll soon see you have a beautiful view over the…
Eric C Hudson: And it was like that
Gentle Reader: Like what?
ECH: Caravaggio was kind of a celebrity from the moment he arrived. I mean sure, they showered him with gifts and affection, but these Knights had some work for him to do.
GR Would you say that the Knights Kneeded Caravaggio?!
ECH: Sweet mother…
GR: Did you see what I did there? With the K and the N thing? I am hilarious! I should do stand up.
ECH: Ahem….anyway…
So the first thing we need to understand is where these knights got their name.
Jesus & St. John rocking the same family tree. According to Adobe Stock Photo, Messiahs were all about the stare-down battles
Their name comes from their Patron Saint, St. John the Baptist.
For those who don’t know…St John the Baptist was a big deal! He had some serious street cred back in the day. Some even thought he was an actual relative of Jesus (Christ).
I know! I mean, I only have relatives that can sneak me extra hot dogs at the local ball park! I mean ZERO disrespect! (You know I love you Jeb and Dee Dee! Call me!) But getting a little free kielbasa is a long way from having a religious messiah show up for family pickleball. Just sayin..
“Getting a little free kielbasa is a long way from having a religious messiah show up for family pickleball. Just sayin..”
OH! So St. John the Baptist…good guy…did good things…but he got involved in some family drama.
SO…don’t tell a soul you heard it from me…but…
King Herod had a thing for his half brother’s wife Herodias.
GR: Oooooh! Tell me more!
ECH: Herodias divorced her husband, took her daughter, and ran off with King Herod! I mean not great, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right?
GR: I suppose…it sounds kinda messy
ECH: Well I tell you what…St. John the Baptist was not pleased with this situation. St. John told Herod and Herodias that their union was Bad News Bears!
“I suppose there is nothing I can do about her. But know this, Rod…I am NOT sitting next to HER at the next company event! Don’t even start with me! I have had it up to HERE with that one!…What?….of course we are still on for beers Tuesday. Call me.”
—St. John the Baptist
So even with their little disagreement, Mr. Herod kinda liked having St. John (the Baptist) hanging around.
So either they were pals or King Herod was terrified of him and didn’t want to kill him. Either way, St. John stayed around. Most likely Herod had St. John jailed after JTB trash talked his wife. Although I like to think he let bygones be bygones and invited St. John over for a little BroTime in the Chill Zone!
Adobe Stock
Maybe I am just guessing what King Herod hang time would be like…but it seemed pretty tight. I mean Herod…terrible guy…to be sure..but his wife was no daisy either!
GR: Right? I mean Herod’s wife was all “Hey, Honey, could you make that John guy a little less alive for me?” Not a cool request
ECH: Totally! And then Herod’s response was kinda “We Said No Girls in the Chill Zone!”
GR: Yeah…she is not gonna take that well.
ECH: So here is where it gets dicey…
GR: Oh THIS is the dicey part?! Yeesh?
The Part Where It Gets Dicey
Adobe Stock
One day, the whole family was playing and laughing together. Herod was hanging out and taking the day off…Herodias was playing along…and finally, her daughter was dancing and playing all over the room! It was a good day in the household.
Finally, Herod took the young girl aside. For making the day so enjoyable he will give her anything she chooses!
GR: Prolly a pony
ECH: So she…What? Come again now?
GR: Just sayin…little girls? They all gonna want a pony.
ECH: Yeah…she didn’t get a pony…
ECH: The young lady’s mother, Herodias approached her and whispered a request in her ear
GR: Oh no……..
ECH: The daughter turned to her Dad….
GR: Sweet mother…
ECH: …and asked for the head of St. John the Baptist
GR: …I don’t even know what to say.
ECH: Sad but true. King Herod could not say no to his daughter. So he immediately ordered the beheading of St. John (the Baptist.)
I mean I totally get not being able to say no. But come ON! Normally it is more along the lines of “Well little Dakota HAD to have the Barbie Dream House and, well, who am I to say no to that face?!” But yeah…murder and public beheading typically is off the table.
“Well little Dakota HAD to have the Barbie Dream House and how can I say no to that face?”
GR: Woof! This is a lot.
ECH: I know, I know. I appreciate you staying with me there
GR: So is there a reason for this gruesome history lesson?
ECH: Next chapter..
GR: Bingo